Saturday, February 28, 2015

I Ate Sugar and I Liked It


Last week, in another blog, a commenter pondered whether or not she could really give up sugar forever.   I commented back that of course she could, she can do all things through Christ who gives her strength.    And that’s completely true, we can do all those things we need to do when we lean on His strength.

The battle would be what “those things” are that we need to do.

For me, I’ve been straddling the fence on whether or now I can have a little sugar (like cake or pie…or a chocolate chip cookie) every now and then.


Last weekend was my birthday.  I am 51 years old.  (As I typed that, Ole Boy made the comment “Well, that’s scary.”   He wasn’t talking about my age, but it was fitting.)    We had Nashville weekend plans, but an ice storm put a stop to that.  On Sunday, we went to Huntsville, instead.

At some point, we ended up at the mall.    At some other point, I was looking at Ben and Jerry’s.  For some reason, I thought that a Cookie Sundae would be a great ruined-birthday-compensation.   And I would be sharing it with Ole Boy, so that’s only half giving in…

…and by-golly, it was good.   Believe it or not, that was my first time for Ben and Jerry’s.

I didn’t go on a binge.  But I did lose my focus.   I gave way-yonder too much thought to food, I overate, and I fretted.  

A few days later, I ate two nice sized chocolate chip cookies, and the next day, a piece of cake. 

By today, I was giving a lot of thought to sugar and more sugar.  It was just like old times.  Yeah.  That pit. 
Tomorrow is March 1.   I have already committed to giving up Facebook for the month.   Now I commit to no sugar.   It’s not about the scales, and to make sure that it isn’t, I also refuse to weigh for the month of March.  But the more important commitment is to spend quality time in daily communion with God and studying His word. 

I also need to work on not complaining, being less negative, and being nicer and more giving to others.

I have, as of today, lost 27 pounds.





16 comments:

  1. Wise to re-focus on God's word and away from that which distracts us from it. I know you will succeed in March to pursuing God and staying away from Facebook and sugar.

    betty

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  2. aaarrrggghhh. I'm trying to say three things at once. Oddly, that is not allowing me to write a coherent sentence. :}

    So. First. Around the time I wrote the post to which you referred, I was wondering whether or not this whole no sugar thing was a lifetime requirement. I sort of decided..sort of...that it was not. That at some point..I'm not sure what the marker for that point would be...I could eat a bit of sweets here and there.

    So, when I wrote the post stating that I could live without sugar forever, it was with the thought that you alluded to above, I could do it as long as Jesus wanted me to. Sugar wasn't something essential to my life. blah, blah, blah.

    Second. Somehow, I went from 'at some point" to considering the fact that while I absolutely needed to be gluten free (per doctor's orders during this last gluten induced medical crisis), I might not absolutely have to give up sugar. Maybe both were too much to do at once. Maybe, in fact, eliminating sugar was just me being my usual all-or-nothing obsessive thinking and I only had to limit it. Hmmm. Yeah. Maybe that was it. :D

    As you see, I was deep in the weeds of wondering, questioning more like it, what exactly are "those things" we needed to do. I turned that *GF but maybe not SF* thought over in my mind for the last 4 days.

    Third. Tonight, after church, the Thin Man and I went out to dinner. ( I'd only had 2 eggs so far for the day, and they had made me sick.) For dinner, I had liver, mashed potatoes and green beans. No bread. No sugar. :D

    On our way home, we stopped at the grocery store, at my request, and I bought Klondikes (If you don't have them in AL, they're individually wrapped chocolate covered vanilla ice cream squares, 250 calories each). Now, mind you, I was nicely full. The thought of only having one or two, rather than my usual 4 or 5. firmly landed in my mind...you know, because I was full and would be able to limit myself. I can...

    I ate five. One after the other. No gluten, but 1250 calories. And now? I'm starving! I mean, I feel like I haven't eaten all day.

    Yeah. That went well.

    Maybe sugar free IS one of "those things." Addicts are tricky, tricky thinkers.

    Happy Birthday, girlfriend. Maybe we should meet in a state halfway between us and go on some kind of food sane retreat filled with prayer. Or something. (I'll be in Gaitlinburg in May.)

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    1. Thanks, Deb! That blasted sugar, eh? I'm wondering if it would be any better for me if I PLANNED to eat something, say at a party, instead of giving in to a spur of the moment urge. There is a mental aspect to it, as well. like you said, aaarrrrgggg!

      I'll be in Gatlinburg in June for a family reunion. I hope to be again in the fall, we shall see. :) That retreat? It's not a bad idea. Knowing me, I would be thinking that would be a good reason to eat some planned sugar. Haha

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    2. oh...and I am not ruling out "no sugar" as one of those things, but I will certainly try to save its "life" first. ::::snickerz:::

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    3. Re: trying to save its life. Why?

      It has occurred to me, as I've also been trying "to save its life", to consider why I'm so reluctant to cut it lose. I mean...really...why am I so engrossed in that effort...that reluctance to let go?

      For instance, I'm not much of a drinker. Bill and I usually share a bottle of whine at the holidays and, if we go to weddings, have a drink or two. that's it. so, maybe I have something to drink 3...4...times a year, max. Add all of those drinks together and it would not be enough to get someone a good drunk, but I do enjy a glass of wine when I have it.

      But, youi know what? As much as I enjoy that wine...despite the fact that my mouth is watering just thinking about it...if I was told that I could no longer drink alcohol--> I wouldn't try to save its life. I'd shrug. Say that's a shame, I really like that wine. And be done with it.

      And how about green beans. I LOVE green beans. It's my go to snack food when I'm counting carbs (overcooked w/ lots of butter). But...if I were told I couldn't have anymore gr. beans, I'd regret that...but I wouldn't try to figure out how to fit in a few more servings.

      So, I have to ask myself--why? Why the focus? Why the concentrated effort to figure out how I can have sugar..if I can have sugar sometimes...can I beat the system, somehow.

      I think I know the answer for me. You may have a different one for you.

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    4. Gasp. Groan. lol. I have to start proofing my replies! Note: "a bottle of WHINE..." :o

      Sigh. You knew what I meant. Although I've had several bottles of "whine" over my sugar struggle!

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    5. I did have to giggle a little about the whine.

      So, I'd like to hear the answer for you....because I haven't allowed myself to go there just yet.

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  3. I need to do all of these things: No sugar and No facebook. Facebook is really on my last nerve as it is. Thanks for the inspiration. Maybe I'll join you.

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    1. I hope you did join me. It's Day 4 and things are going fairly well. I've had a harder time being nice and giving than not eating cookies... lolz

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  4. Hope your month long retreat from FB and sugar is going well, Margaret.

    I was cleaning out some files and found this quote from William Dufty, author of Sugar Blues, and thought you'd find it interesting:

    "After all, heroin is nothing but a chemical. They take the juice of the poppy and they refine it into opium and then they refine it to morphine and finally to heroin.
    Sugar is nothing but a chemical. They take the juice of the cane or the beet and they refine it to molasses and then they refine it to brown sugar and finally to strange white crystals......The difference between sugar addiction and narcotic addiction is largely one of degree."

    Youch! All's I know is... for me sugar has a powerful effect. I conveniently forget that whenever I choose to do an occasional "just this tiny treat", making it that much harder to resist.

    For me, freedom in this area will be the day it doesn't even cross my mind; when it's "no biggee", when I don't blog about it, discuss it, try to analyze it, or otherwise have it intruding in my life. When there is peace, consistently, about the whole food thing. Wish I could say that day felt near! Some days it does... some days Not! :-}

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    1. I had never thought of the chemical aspect of it. That last paragraph about freedom? Amen and AMEN!

      I'll add the chemical quote to the question Deb asked... I suppose one reason I don't want to completely give up sugar is because having to always deal with "no sugar" doesn't really feel like the freedom we want...not crossing our minds, no biggie, no discussion, it just is.

      For me, also, sugar has a powerful effect, and why I would even give it focus instead of Who should be my focus, I cannot tell.

      Thanks for your input, Loretta. I value you.

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    2. Margaret, Could you expand this thought a bit--> " I suppose one reason I don't want to completely give up sugar is because having to always deal with "no sugar" doesn't really feel like the freedom we want...not crossing our minds, no biggie, no discussion, it just is. " I'm not quite sure what you mean. Thanks.

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    3. Loretta said, "freedom in this area will be the day it doesn't even cross my mind; when it's "no biggee", when I don't blog about it, discuss it, try to analyze it, or otherwise have it intruding in my life. When there is peace, consistently, about the whole food thing." This is also what I have said about freedom, and that for me, food being a non-issue would be freedom. Eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full, and not think about it until the next time my tummy rumbles. If I am making "no sugar" a big deal (meaning, I am always so very careful to avoid it) then to me, that's not really freedom.)

      This go round, I am not nearly as low carb as the last time, and as much as I'd like it not to be, food is still an issue, because I do fight pseudo guilt (because of what I ate, didn't eat, how much I ate...), I find myself wanting to obsess about the number on the scale, and I still have trouble stopping when I'm full.

      My focus is nowhere where it should be most days...I'm really glad God is patient and long-suffering with me.

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    4. Thanks, and that's what I thought you meant, but I wanted to be sure before I commented.

      Maybe "no sugar" seems like such a big deal because "having sugar" is such a big deal. If it weren't, then not having it would almost go without notice...be no biggee as Loretta said.

      It may be that the needing to have sugar is where the bondage hides and the resisting just exposes it. Or not. That just happens to be my experience--which is the answer you asked me to give in your reply to my earliest comment.

      If I were not bound by sugar, eliminating it would not trouble the waters. I would not desire to have it any more than I would desire to nibble on arsenic wafers. Not having the desire to nibble..that will be freedom to me.

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  5. I guess we each apply our own meaning to what it means to feel like it's "no biggie". For me, I WANT to eliminate most if not all sugar, for health reasons. But not be all focused on it all the time, and wrestle with what I did or did not eat. Just be able to be at peace and make healthy choices, and if I slip a little, get over it, bounce back and get on with life. Not having sugar feels "healthy" to me most of the time; those times I crave it are just when I'm looking for a "fix", an easy fast hit of instant pleasure. So, not keeping it in my system makes living without it much easier, and feels like a positive to me, a healthy direction to aim towards.

    But overall, I just want to get to that place where eating healthy (and sugar free for the most part) is my "norm", and feels peaceful not a big drama or struggle. Where if I once in a blue moon go to a celebration or wedding or whatever, I can take it or leave it, to have a bit of wedding cake. No biggie. But not sweat it, or do it often, or worry about it. Hope that's more clear than what I wrote before.

    I think we are all heading in the right direction. Now to just stop dragging me feet!

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What are your thoughts?