Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Unforgiveness or Memories?

I was fighting unforgiveness again this morning.  It rears it's ugly head without warning and without rhyme or reason.   Sometimes I just have to make the decision to make a covenant with God to forgive, and just put my heart in His able hands.  



Every now and then, something takes me back to first grade, a period in my life that never brings good memories.  Perhaps I hold unforgiveness…I am not sure…maybe it is just that I remember.   Memories exist, and they pop into my mind every now and then, especially when there’s a reminder.
 ______________________________

 Unforgiveness, I’ve heard it expressed,
Is like drinking poison and hoping someone else gets sick.
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She’s long gone from this world, this first grade teacher who made my introduction to school a nightmare.  I would not wish bad things for her, even if she were still living.  My second grade teacher was much better, and the rest of my years at Underwood Elementary were pleasant enough.

My third grade teacher, whom I really liked, was the principal when my daughter was enrolled.   She handled a situation involving my daughter very badly, in my opinion, and I wrote her a scathing letter….and copied the superintendent of education.   Did I over-react?  Possibly…but she did, indeed, handle a delicate situation rather coarsely.   She also discussed it with the grandmother of the little boy involved, and when I saw her (the grandmother) in WalMart shortly after the incident, she was very rude, and told me that if I had any problems with her grandson to contact her, not the school.   The grandmother is gone from this world, too, but the memories still remain.

What does one do with bad memories?  Granted, my “bad” recollections are nothing in comparison to the memories of so many hurting people walking around in today's world.    But a hurt is a hurt, and memories do exist.   Unforgiveness doesn’t have to be attached to the thoughts, but how can you be sure that you aren’t just remembering, but that a little unforgiveness lingers?
__________________________

Unforgiveness is unforgiveness,
No matter how small it is.
___________________________

One of the toughest forms of forgiveness is that of our own actions, inactions, bad choices, stupidity…forgiving ourselves for our past choices and mistakes.  And whether we know it or not, there may be people holding grievances against us for some callous thing we said or did, and we don’t even realize we’ve hurt someone.


I am one to hold on to a grudge.  I don't know why!   But today, I’m choose forgiveness.   Every fiery dart aimed at me today will be met with a shield of forgiveness.  Grudges are never worth hanging to, and especially when it gives something “bad” even the tiniest bit of power in my life.
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Find the beauty in the day.   
May you find forgiveness in your heart 
for every bad memory that haunts you.
And may it be as easy as a walk in Deibert Park...



  
   

Deibert Park, Florence, Alabama.
All photos belong to Margaret @ Committed Thoughts

5 comments:

  1. Loved the pictures. I struggle with unforgiveness that I manage to turn into bitterness that is the ugly root I get to carry with me. I too sometimes (lots of times) hold a grudge; currently still doing in almost 4 years later since we moved down here. I really do try to want to forgive and try to move on, but then it comes back and haunts me; I need to adopt your attitude today and choose forgiveness today and then choose forgiveness tomorrow and so on.

    betty

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    1. Yes...sometimes it's a daily thing. The big things generally are. I can't believe it's been four years!

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  2. You're doing it exactly right, Margaret. :)

    I do one more thing. Whenever those memories come up, I also ask the Lord to bless that person--and if they're dead, I ask for their family to be blessed.

    If it's the enemy who is bringing up those old hurts and offenses, he'll soon stop when he rrealizes that the result is blessing rather than simmering curses. It makes me laugh every time I do that. :D

    And, remember, forgivenes is not a feeling--it's an act of obedience. Feelings take a while to catch up.

    How's Lucy?

    Deb

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    1. I suppose we can't believe everything we feel, yes? I have "prayed for my enemies" before; one chick got prayed for uh-lot a year or so ago...but lately, I have forgotten to do that. Great reminder, thank you!

      Lucy is doing pretty well. She seems to be getting around fairly good, and doesn't seem to be in pain...some discomfort, perhaps. Thanks for asking.

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  3. The Peace Prayer

    Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
    Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    Where there is injury, pardon;
    Where there is error, the truth;
    Where there is doubt, the faith;
    Where there is despair, hope;
    Where there is darkness, light;
    And where there is sadness, joy.

    O Divine Master,
    Grant that I may not so much seek
    To be consoled, as to console;
    To be understood, as to understand;
    To be loved as to love.

    For it is in giving that we receive;
    It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
    And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen. St Francis is Assisi

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What are your thoughts?