Every now and then, something takes me back to first grade, a period in my life that never brings good memories. Perhaps I hold unforgiveness…I am not sure…maybe it is just that I remember. Memories exist, and they pop into my mind every now and then, especially when there’s a reminder.
Unforgiveness, I’ve heard it expressed,
Is like drinking poison and hoping someone else gets sick.
She’s long gone from this world, this first grade teacher who made my introduction to school a nightmare. I would not wish bad things for her, even if she were still living. My second grade teacher was much better, and the rest of my years at Underwood Elementary were pleasant enough.
My third grade teacher, whom I really liked, was the principal when my daughter was enrolled. She handled a situation involving my daughter very badly, in my opinion, and I wrote her a scathing letter….and copied the superintendent of education. Did I over-react? Possibly…but she did, indeed, handle a delicate situation rather coarsely. She also discussed it with the grandmother of the little boy involved, and when I saw her (the grandmother) in WalMart shortly after the incident, she was very rude, and told me that if I had any problems with her grandson to contact her, not the school. The grandmother is gone from this world, too, but the memories still remain.
What does one do with bad memories? Granted, my “bad” recollections are nothing in comparison to the memories of so many hurting people walking around in today's world. But a hurt is a hurt, and memories do exist. Unforgiveness doesn’t have to be attached to the thoughts, but how can you be sure that you aren’t just remembering, but that a little unforgiveness lingers?
Unforgiveness is unforgiveness,
No matter how small it is.
No matter how small it is.
One of the toughest forms of forgiveness is that of our own actions, inactions, bad choices, stupidity…forgiving ourselves for our past choices and mistakes. And whether we know it or not, there may be people holding grievances against us for some callous thing we said or did, and we don’t even realize we’ve hurt someone.
I am one to hold on to a grudge. I don't know why! But today, I’m choose forgiveness. Every fiery dart aimed at me today will be met with a shield of forgiveness. Grudges are never worth hanging to, and especially when it gives something “bad” even the tiniest bit of power in my life.
Find the beauty in the day.
May you find forgiveness in your heart
for every bad memory that haunts you.
And may it be as easy as a walk in Deibert Park...
Deibert Park, Florence, Alabama.
All photos belong to Margaret @ Committed Thoughts